Overheard in the Newsroom

Tonight I am too lazy to write my own post. Yes, it was one of those days. Instead, for your enjoyment, we have some of my favorite quotes from "Overheard in the Newsroom," which is basically a Web site where people contribute funny things said in the newsroom. The following represent my chosen career quite well:

Reporter: “You have to block comments on this story. I predict a flame war.”
Editor: “I’m sorry, all I heard was ‘more hits!’”

Editor: “Did the mayor really use the word shenanigans and compare the city to a three-legged stool?”
Reporter: “Yeah, that guy’s a quote machine.”

Copy Editor: “Being a Copy Editor is a lot like ‘Where’s Waldo?’ but instead it’s called ‘Find the Career-Ending Mistake.’”

Editor #1: “We have another snowblower accident, this time the guy got it in the leg.”
Editor #2: “That’s three! Trend story!”

Copy Editor walking into sappy moment at meeting: “There’s so much caring in here, it doesn’t even feel like a newsroom.”

Reporter 1: “Someone just called to complain their neighbor has already set up Christmas decorations.”
Reporter 2: “I smell Pulitzer.”

Copy Editor on phone with Sports Editor, talking about Sports Writer from another paper:
“It’s not that hard to figure out who scored a touchdown. Usually they go ‘Wooooo!’”

Editor: “We’re not looking for Pulitzer material here. We just need something to fill the space between the ads.”

Reporter: “I don’t like to go near the Copy Desk. There’s a constant cloud of gloom hanging over there.”

Copy Editor to Editor: “This doesn’t have the feel of an on-time paper.”

Reporter: “Being a government reporter makes you hate democracy.”

Reporter trying to talk an Editor out of pursuing a story: “Isn’t there something to be said about ‘First, do no harm?’”
Editor: “That’s for doctors, not reporters. Our oath is, ‘Go get ’em.’”

Reporter showing someone around and entering the newsroom: “This is the nerve center. This is where we fill up all the space we can’t sell ads for.”

A Reporter tries to get a Photographer to go to a political event with him as an Editor listens in:
Photographer: “I’m shooting basketball that night.”
Reporter: “Basketball won’t be the Governor next year.”
Editor: “And more people will still care about basketball.”
Reporter: “And THAT is why I hate people.”

Cops reporter: “You know it’s a slow news day when the police department is just blasting Journey over the scanners.”

Editor: “Did you just mash random keys or were you actually attempting to spell Alzheimer’s?”

Reporter shouting at a city official: “Show me where in open records law there’s an exemption for antagonistic people.”

Reporter on phone with principal, trying to set up a time for photographers to come: “I’d like to shoot some kids.”

Reporter: “Ugh, I hate the smell of burned houses.”
Photographer: “You hate the smell of job security?”

Editor: “What’s going on the rest of page 8?”
Writer: “My obituary. I figure I’ll take one for the team.”

Copy Editor: “There isn’t a headline that can’t be improved by adding the word ‘pants’ in it.”